late one Sunday night

In the spring of 2011, I arrived home to my apartment late one Sunday night after going to church & doing errands to find multiple emergency vehicles going into our apartment complex. After a lot of confusion and wondering, I found out the next day, that my neighbor had committed suicide earlier that night.
He lived in the apartment directly diagonal from mine.
I never met him.
I didn't even know his name.


A few days later, his former fiance came to pack up his/their things.
What I wish I would have said:

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I'm sorry for your loss.

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I really am truly sorry for your loss.
No matter how you are feeling about it now.
Ambivalent, mad, sad, hurt, whatever.
I'm sorry.

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I wish I had said hi before this.

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I'm sorry I never tried to truly know you. Until now.

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I wish I had known, truly known, him before he was gone & you are moving on.

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We were neighbors for goodness sake! And I'm sorry that I forgot it enough to not do anything.

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Even if we never said it, we care. People care.

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Do you know God?

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God loves you and he sent his son to save you.

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Even if it seems like he's not there.
And you don't have hope.
Or answers.
Or direction.
Or love.


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God is with you and cares for you.