an edited Thanksgiving

*Here is a somewhat edited post from November 27th, 2010:

(I had just come back into town from spending a few days at home with my family for Thanksgiving. Hence, the hysterical babbling, frustration, hand-wringing emotional post)*

I am twenty-three years old.

I cannot handle this God!

I cannot do this!

I cannot help & care for my family without Your help.

It makes me sad.
It makes me frustrated.
It almost makes me angry.


I want to be selfish.
I want to be the one who is helped.
I want what I want.

And then I remember,
that is not how You lived on this earth.
You did not push others aside to meet your needs first.
You said to put the needs of others above our own.
You said to honor our father and mother.
You said to live respectfully,
to show mercy,
to offer grace,
and to help the widowed and poor.

Please help me to help the poor in spirit, for she shall inherit the earth.

Please help me to live as You did: caring, sharing, sacrificing, forgiving, and loving.

Thank you for your mercies, that they are new every day!
Thank you for coming down to earth, to provide a better way to live exemplified through your incarnate son Jesus!