Psalm 37:4

"Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart."

-    Psalm 37:4    -

I listened to the end of the book, Angry Conversations With God the other day.
In the last chapter, the main character, Susan Isaacs, is in one of her last sessions of couples therapy with God, when her therapist asks her what she does that God delights in.

She responds by saying little things, but then realizes that God must delight in her when she uses her gifts and talents, and also when she is living obediently.

Source: weheartit.com via Grace on Pinterest

I'm not one to go about quoting Psalm 37:4 incorrectly, inserting it at times and places where it is not relevant or used accurately.

However, the marriage therapist made me wonder, when do I delight in God?

And when does he delight in me?

Just like Susan, I believe God must delight in me when:

 I'm obedient,
 I slow down and hear his still small voice,
 I am struck with amazement by his creation,
 I "play my note",
  - use and share my gifts,
  -and when I craft my talents.

I think those are the times when God delights in me.

And now I think I'll kick back and think for a few days about when I delight in Him.
: )

Linking up!

The Little Things That Count

I'm a firm believer that it's the little things in life that count....and sometimes they almost matter more than the big things.

Little things put the extra oopmh! into the essentials: four walls, ceiling, and floor.

Add:

the required furniture (bed, table, chairs)
+

necessary tools and accessories (plates, knives, screwdriver, hammer)
+
a closet or two (or four)

&
you have the basics.

And for some people that's enough.
But not quite for me.
I believe in creating and cultivating beauty.


Why? God calls me to do so.

God tells me  (via Noah and his arky, arky) to

Source: jonesdesigncompany.com via Grace on Pinterest

which is partly why I feel the need to create and cultivate beauty.

God tells me to live my life by Philippians 1:27: "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ."

So, I strive to deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow Jesus.  -Luke 9:23

To follow Jesus daily means that I
  speak the truth in love.
  take care of the poor and needy.
  love the unloved.
  put the needs of others before my own.
  humble myself.
  strive to produce the fruit of the spirit.
  choose peace and not strife.
  forgive and not hold grudges.
  repent and change for the better.
  spread and give joy.
  and live in obedience.
   daily.

And you know what that creates?
Beauty.
Me, being fully alive in Christ.
Having ashes exchanged for beauty.
And glorifying God by my very existence and salvation in Him.

Therefore, beauty is a call.

And creating beauty in my surroundings, life, and space is a natural flow from that lifestyle.

To play my note, live out my gifts and talents, and create beauty, I feel compelled to have beauty around me.

A lovely lady once said that she was  "the creative director of [her] surroundings."
I think that sums me up. God takes care of my environment, and then gives me the role of being creative director of my surroundings; pretty-fying my basic walls+floor+ceiling, if you will.

And if it is a goal in my life to live out and create beauty, why would I want to live in a plain (or ugly) space?
After all.....

Source: etsy.com via Grace on Pinterest

part two coming soon....
Any thoughts?
What does God call you to do with your life?

this morning & a song

Here's an ironically relevant song for this Monday.....


My morning routine ended up in my bedroom, laying on my bed with pounding ears, and wiping away tears.
Why?.....

I eventually got up and went into the bathroom but wasn't feeling good (i.e. everything was sort of spinning & hazy when I went into there).

When I started to wash my hands, things were getting much worse.

I told myself, 'just wash your hands and go get in bed.'

All the while, things were increasingly becoming very dark and hazy.

As I washed my hands, I think I squirted out some soap and I possibly dried my hands a little when I heard a lot of noise and felt myself falling.

Then I kind of -came to- on the bathroom floor, hearing the shower door banging and seeing the sister's makeup on the floor. I was disoriented and couldn't figure out why her blush was on the floor.
Apparently, she had gone into her bedroom and heard me moving her makeup around (that I moved on the counter while trying to hold myself up) and then she heard a lot of noise, thuds (from me falling), and the shower door crashing (as I hit my head on it). That's when she looked in and found me laying on the ground.
She was freaked out (not in a helpless way- but in a shocked way) and asked me what happened and what to do. She helped me to my bed and then rushed to get the washcloth I requested.
After she brought it in, I had her turn on the fan, and asked her to pray.

{I was scared}

I had to ask her to pray louder because of my loudly pounding ears and the noisy fan.
As she prayed, the pounding in my ears lessened and I stopped blinking tears back.

Gradually, things started to slow down and I calmed down. Thankfully, I pretty much feel fine now.

It was so cool how God worked things out.
He gave me the clarity to make it to my room. He allowed the sister to get ready later than usual so she was in the next room when it all went down. If it had happened a little earlier or later, she wouldn't have been there. He gave me peace and protection as she prayed. He allowed my body to calm down, not remain in shock, and he stopped the cramps and dizziness I had been feeling since earlier that morning. He provided a friend to fill in for the sister so she could arrive late to help me for awhile. He gave us a time for conversation, allowing me to calm down and feel better. He gave her long legs to quickly run up and down the stairs getting me the stuff I needed. It may seem silly, but I'm confident that He gave me the foresight to buy an extra box of mac & cheese on Saturday so that I had an easy lunch to prepare. He gave me a caring, thoughtful sister who didn't freak out and was able to help me when I needed it.
He blessed me with:
perspective (no, good health is not guaranteed),
peace (remembering other times I had fainted and always recovered), and
love (from my caring sister and from his loving character as my Elohim).

This forced day of rest was sure unexpected,
but I think I'll dwell in it and continue the praying I started earlier this morning
: )

*After I was feeling better, I told the sister, "Well, I didn't know that would happen!"*

New song! the *asterisk* part was my morning : )

You Lift Me Up -The Afters

You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up

Waiting for the sunrise
Waiting for the day
Waiting for a sign that I'm
Where You want me to be

You know my heart is heavy
And the hurt is deep
But when I feel like giving up
*You're reminding me

That we all fall down sometimes
When I hit the ground

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I'm letting go*

You lift me up when I can't see
You heart's all that I need
Your love carries me so I'm letting go

You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up

I know I'm not perfect
I know I make mistakes
I know that I have let You down
But You love me the same

And when I'm surrounded
And when I lose my way
And when I'm crying out and fallen down
You are here to....

Lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I'm letting go

You lift me up when I can't see
You heart's all that I need
Your love carries me so I'm letting go

I can see the dawn is breaking
I am feeling overtaken
With Your love, with Your love
I don't know what I can offer
In this moment, I surrender
To Your love, to Your love

You lift me up when I am weak
Your arms wrap around me
Your love catches me so I'm letting go

You lift me up when I can't see
You heart's all that I need
Your love carries me so I'm letting go

I can see the dawn is breaking
I am feeling overtaken
With Your love, with Your love

You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up with Your love
You lift me up

a motto + a song

Today as I was finishing up  In His Steps  by Charles Sheldon,
 the song Take My Life by Chris Tomlin popped into my head.

While reading Sheldon's book, I was struck by the fact of --true Christian discipleship--

After a series of lifechanging events, a pastor, Henry Maxwell challenges his congregation to ask ‘What would Jesus do?’” before doing anything, and then to act as they are led by the Holy Spirit, regardless of personal consequences. Some people accept the challenge & truly seek to live by it, some face loss (social status/wealth/jobs), some struggle and doubt what Jesus would have them do in their life, still, others find a purpose and seek to wholeheartedly imitate Christ in every way. While working to meet the challenge, many realize that they must grow in their knowledge of Jesus in order to act like & imitate him.

 

Yet, as in reality, some reject the challenge as fanatical imitation of Jesus & see no need for change, others hold onto vices, habits & sins, and others loudly oppose the challenge. In the end, however, widespread change occurs and an exciting movement begins. .........The premise of his book on Wikipedia.org.

After reading the book, I was compelled to ask myself, What Would Jesus Do with my life?

First, he would apologize for being easily angered with my mom last night.
Secondly, he would be patient, enduring the sacrifice of personal desires that I am going through with humility and grace. Joyfully seeking human suffering and personal sacrifice.
Then, I thought about what I've been focusing on lately.
And honestly, for a long time (maybe a month), I've been driven by selfish desires and focused on meeting my needs/desires/wants.

One of those desires concerned blogging.
After hearing about different women who stopped blogging, others who've gone on breaks, and still others who have struggled with different aspects of blogging, I read a lot of 'do it for you- not x amount of followers' and I found myself torn.

Now, after reading Sheldon's story, I find myself realizing,
no I will not continue blogging for others.  no, I will not continue blogging for myself.  no, I will continue blogging for God.

By writing about my life/struggles/dreams/likes, I can glorify Him.
And that is how I plan to continue blogging.
I do not share this for personal acclaim, vanity, or any impure intentions.

I share this as my personal motto.

--My blog's manifest.--

Needless to say, the book is awesome.
I love me some Christian fiction : )

{Take My Life} -Chris Tomlin

Take my life and let it be
consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands and let them move
at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet and let them be
swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only for my King.
Take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect and use
every power as You choose.

-Chorus-
Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Take my will and make it Thine
it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart it is Thine own
it shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord I pour
at Your feet its treasure store.
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.
Take myself and I will be
ever, only, all for Thee.

Here am I, all of me.
Take my life, it's all for Thee.

silly thoughts

I intended to include this with something else but wanted to simplify things, so here it is!

I made four awesome dinners, four nights in a row.

This is definitely progress people!

A few months ago I was thinking about something silly.
About how I didn't cook much at all or pack lunches (for work/school) anymore.

I felt as if I had 'lost my touch,' and I even went so far as to think that I might not be good at it anymore.
Cooking, that is.

I was thinking silly things like:
"If my sister keeps doing all of the cooking until I eventually move out, I won't be very good at it [cooking] anymore. And if I end up moving [away from her] by this summer then that doesn't give me much time to actually start cooking more."

And then I continued with some other outrageously silly thoughts.

I say silly only because looking back now (even just a few months), it seems like a silly thing to worry/stress/even think about. I mean, really?
I wasn't starting to worry or freak out or anything, but I was finally starting to think about how good I had it how I wasn't cooking much at all.

But isn't it funny how God gives us what we ask for?

Because just a short time after I started thinking about my cooking dilemma/problem/uh.... status, God gave me a solution!

Because my sister gets home later from her job, she slowly started asking me to start dinner so we could finish making it earlier.
So, I did.
And then a few times I just made dinner early so we could eat right after she got home. (And then rush, rush, rush off to life group:)
And there were some awesome dinners.
Thank you very much.

And then, since I started going home to Bakersfield, to help out my parents every week,
I slowly started making every meal we ate when I was there. (Except for breakfast- I like to sleep in, or at least later than when my parents get up at 5 :)


And there have also been many awesome dinners there too.
made by me.
Thank you very much.


Honestly, the only reason I am slightly tooting my horn right now is because of my previous concerns.
I truly was wondering how I would start cooking again.
Without a need, reason, or desire to, it seemed like it would be hard to start cooking all the time for myself/others.
Also, I was wondering how I would start planning meals and getting everything done + cooking in one day.

But I did it.
And I found out I could.
Because God gave me just what I needed.
A need, a reason, and a desire to, of all things, cook!

I also discovered that cooking can be a very draining thing for me.
Sometimes, it feels like a chore.
Planning, buying, making, eating, and then washing the dishes just from one meal is very draining for me.
So, with some trial and error, I realized how to:
-plan easier/heavier nights,
-create variety within a week of meals,
-consolidate grocery shopping trips,
-when I needed to start making dinner/do prep work (earlier is better for me, I'm slow & make tons o'mistakes), and 

-when to ask for help.

Getting food from a restaurant is easy, less hassle, faster, and sometimes cheaper.
Thus, this is a huge source of help.
Also, I've tried to incorporate my parents' input into the meal planning which has helped a lot.
Everyone likes what they're eating if it's an old favorite or something they already know how to make.
And then when it's all made, everyone enjoys everything a pinch more because they helped (or were just involved at some point :)

Also, I've got another post coming soon about what God has given me what I've asked for.

Stay tuned.

Or something internet-y like that.
:)

games

last night I stayed up too late (er, early? it was morning- oops)
& realized that I was playing the game.

What game you ask?


Well, I'll tell ya.

The comparing game.

Have you ever played it?
It's the one where you try, and try, and try, but you lose every time.

By comparing yourself to what others are/have/do, you only feel worse and worse about yourself.
And if you're a girl, I bet you've played it a lot.
These games are quite natural for girls to fall into.
And if you're a guy- how did you get to my little blog?

Something that I've been having to learn over the past year is that humans are God's creations.
We are made in his image.
Therefore, since all other people are made in God's image, since everyone has God's mark on their lives,
I need to treat everyone as such.

I need to talk to,
think about,
treat,
act towards,
make friends with,
have opinions about,
and love
people like they're made in God's image.

For me, this changes things. When I realize ev.er.y. single person on earth is a carbon copy of God, if you will,
I can't just keep living towards others the same.


Also, after reading my Bible study book this week, I realized that {the same is true for myself.}
Here's what got me thinking:

"If God, is the Creator of all things, who has given us life? Elohim, of course! And why were we created? For Him! You are a unique creation of God, one of a kind, created for His glory. He 'didst form my inward parts.' He 'didst weave me in my mother's womb....I am fearfully and wonderfully made' (Psalm 139:13-14). Have you ever thought of yourself as being fearfully and wonderfully made? Or do you look at yourself and despise what Elohim has created?"

If everyone is made in the image of God, and I have to live & treat others like that is true,
then I need to live & treat myself like that too.

When I start playing the comparing game and decide what I don't like about myself, what I should be, or how I'm failing,
I am despising what Elohim has created.

In essence,
I'm telling God that what he made (me), isn't good, isn't right, and isn't lovely.
But that isn't true!
God made me (just like everyone else), in HIS stinkin IMAGE!
That should be enough.
That should be it.
That should be final.


So why don't I live like it?
One thought: I'm not proactive.

When I feel myself slipping into the game, I jump right in, and play for awhile.
I am actively letting Satan invade my thoughts, mind, and heart.

I give him the reigns of my mind and let my heart willingly follow into thoughts of jealousy, harboring envy and coveting what my neighbors have.


So.

Here's to tomorrow!
Here's to a changed life!
Here's to not playing the same-old-boring-controlling-sinful-disgusting game!

Here's to looking at God's creation, and thinking just what he does,

this is {very good} !

and the proof: here, here, here, and here!

jan. 17-21

In one week I have:
.painted my nails
.made a huge batch of yummy soup
.watched about 3 disks of Friends,
.un-decorated my apt. from Christmas  : (
.gone to Bako & back,
.earnestly job searched,
.cried so much I think I broke blood vessels in my eyes,
.decided where I'm going to live (here, with trips home during the week for awhile),
.renewed my lease,
.given a Christmas gift,
.took down my Christmas tree,
.talked to my older sister on the phone for 45 min. (this is huuge for us -we're not phone people),
.gone to Bako & back,
.gone to church in Bako & here in Fresyes,
.prayed -a TON,
.cried so much I feel like I now have a sinus cold,
.told my sister many, many times: "With everything going on in our family, we can't ever, ever get mad at each other too!"
.slept terribly. in bed at 12 + lie awake til 2:30 + wake up at 9 = exhaustion
.read really inspiring things like: Psalm 4:8

"I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O Lord,
make me dwell in safety."

by: thewheatfield via etsy

I found this last night when I could not sleep until I had journaled, prayed, & found a comforting verse from la Biblia, Ps. 4:8

.I saw things like: this etsy print -->

.read things like: this funny post
.became obsessed with my new hat
.picked up these things from the library:
-The Cookbook Collector: A Novel. by Allegra Goodman.
-Counting on God by New Life Worship
-Craft, Inc.: turn your creative hobby into a business. by Meg Mateo Ilasco.
-Delivering Happiness: a path to profits, passion, and purpose. by Tony Hsieh
-Sex and the city. Volume 2  .please no judgement
-Very Merry Christmas. by Dave Barnes
.Measure B & the library make me happy!

Today, I am choosing joy, love, & peace.
I am choosing Psalm 3-5
I'm choosing a fun sized kit-kat (or four)
& a cute outfit :)




Psalm 3-5:
Ch. 3
O Lord, how many are my foes!
How many rise up against me!
Many are saying of my,
"God will not deliver him."

Selah.

But you are a shield around me, O Lord;
you bestow your glory on me and lift up
my head.
To the Lord I cry aloud,
and he answers me from his holy hill.

Selah.

I lie down and sleep;
I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
I will not fear the tens of thousands
drawn up against me on every side.

Arise, O Lord!
Deliver me, O my God!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw;
break the teeth of the wicked.

Selah.

From the Lord comes deliverance.May your blessing be on your people.

Selah.

Ch. 4
Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

Selah.

How long, O men, will you turn my glory
into shame?
How long will you love delusions and
seek false gods?

Selah.

Know that the Lord has set apart the godly
for himself;
the Lord will hear when I call to him.

In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.

Selah.

Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the Lord.

Many are asking, "Who can show us any
good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord.
You have fulfilled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine
abound.
I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you, alone, O Lord,
make me dwell in safety.
Ch. 5
Give ear to my words, O Lord,
consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.In the morning, O Lord, you hear my
voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before
you
and wait in expectation.

You are not a God who takes pleasure in evil;
with you the arrogant cannot stand in your presence;
you hate all who do wrong.
You destroy those who tell lies;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
the Lord abhors.

But I, by your great mercy,
will come into your house;
in reverence will I bow down
toward your holy temple.
Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness
because of my enemies--
make straight your way before me.

Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
their heart is filled with destruction.
Their throat is an open grave;
with their tongue they speak deceit.
Declare them guilty, O God!
Let their intrigues be their downfall.
Banish them for their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as
with a shield."

Amen!

End of the Year

*One of my many posts from my draft folder.
I wrote this after attending a Dec. 26th Sunday morning message &
then one on a Sunday night on January 2nd.
This one is dated January 3rd:  *

I have wanted to post for a long time now.
I have been thinking about this for awhile now.
I wanted to write about so many different things during this season of Christmas and New Years.

Then I got a reality check from God and realized some things.
I have been living very selfishly during my 'free time'.
Because of this, I'm not going to post some of those things right now.
But, I am going to mention one thing.

This year, instead of starting off selfishly,
I am going to start off this new year with a prayer.

"God,
I give you this year.
I know that you already 'have' it, but right now,
in this moment, I want You to have it.
Own it.
Take it all.
Take care of it.
Please continue teaching me, stretching me, and making me grow.
I give you this year for only You know what is in store for me.
Please allow me to remember this prayer.
Please remind me to live realistically.
I know that some of the dreams and passions you have given me lately are for a reason.
I know that some of them may come true and some may not taste life or be experienced.
I trust in YOU.
I trust in your provisions, your care, your sovereignty, your ability to teach, mold, shape, & grow.
Please remind me to do all things, "whether in word or deed," to do it all for your glory. (Colossians 3:17)
I have hope in YOU.
I hope that some of said dreams may come to light.
I have hope in the plans you have for my year.
I believe in YOU.
I know that you did not give me this life to live complacently, apathetically, in isolation, or selfishly for myself.
I know that you did not give me this life to reach a destination, but to journey in my pursuit of Christ.
You created me to enjoy this journey.
I recognize you have the controls, Life is impermanent, Take all of me, everything that I am,
Thank you for so much more than I can ever fathom,
Thank you for all of my abundant blessings in life, and for the fact that I have life,
Amen."

miskellaneouus.....

So many things to say. So few words in which to express them!


Ahhh.....it's a Nickel Creek kind of night!
Listening to Ode to A Butterfly.
wondering when and if I will ever reach their superior level of musicianship.
sigh......
(and I do not take that sigh lightly.
I do not really like doing the whole figurative description of your emotions.)


Anyways......God is good!
All the time he is good!


A verse I heard on the radio earlier today spoke about when we ask God to bring happiness during trials.

The first thing that made me sit up and turn up the volume was the fact that it is a very accurate statement!

Oftentimes, we pray for happiness. Wishing that we can.just.be.happy. Like, "is that so hard God?"
"Can you just take away the yuckiness, take me out of this funk, and make me feel happy?"

Something the pastors at my church talk about frequently and then when we studied James this summer, they discussed the fact that God does not promise us happiness in life.
He does not promise that we will always have everything together, that we will not experience pain, that we will not face suffering, or that we will even feel happy.
This is something that is often inappropriately glossed over in Christian circles.
In James it says that we will face struggles and trials of many kinds.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. "    James 1:2-4

God tells us here through James that we will  suffer and have pain in life (as in, 'sometime in the near future this will definitely happen' type of whenever). Moreover, God does not promise us a life of happiness but he does promise us a life of suffering and . Although that does not sound too enticing, doesn't it sound better when we consider Heaven? If our life is only considered a blink of time in God's timetable, I would much rather experience true, full, joyous happiness when I'm at last in the presence of God, with all of the other believers from this entire world.

Now, after thinking about all of that in a millisecond, I then perked my ears up to hear the following verse:

"In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation."       Psalm 5:3

I loved what the guy on the radio said. Just like a pregnant woman is expecting, knowing that she will eventually have a baby but cannot hold it yet, we are to wait on God.
As a follower of God, this means that I am supposed to present my requests to God, and then to wait on Him.
He will give an answer.
He will respond.
And by waiting in expectation, I am then waiting in faith.

Honestly, for a long time I didn't really understand what faith was exactly. (I'm still trying to wrap my head around it too.) Just like "abiding in Christ", come on?
Yes, you hear people say to "have faith", "these three remain: faith, hope, and love", and "you gotta have faith." But what does faith really mean?
I think that I just equated faith with trust. But faith is so much more than that.
To have faith, is just like the verse above states, to believe in what God has in store: God's plan for the future, what can, and what will happen.
Also, just like an expectant mother, "waiting in expectation" or having faith in God, is knowing, believing in, and not diverting from the outcome, which is that God's will will occur.
You know what, I think that that little "taking a minute" clip on the radio helped me and assured me that I'm actually understanding what faith is!
Thanks Jason Anderson!


Last Thursday I felt like I had a sneeze stuck in my nose.
....all...day.........
.weirdest.feeling.ever.

I went to Valle de Guadalupe near Ensenada, Mexico on Thursday.
I went with my friend Omar, who grew up there at Rancho Sordo Mudo.
RSM is a school for Deaf children. Although they used to use ASL, now the gov't makes them teach LSM (lengua de señas mexicana) which was sometimes confusing for me. ASL and LSM share some signs that have the same meaning, they also share some signs but have different meanings for them, there are slight differences in handshape/location of certain signs, and then there are just a lot of different signs in LSM.
After spending time with tons of Deaf people and kids who only use sign language to communicate, it was really hard to only use my voice when talking with people!
Haha. Case in point:
When I was trying to order food at McDonald's in Rosarito, I couldn't remember the words in Spanish so I almost started signing to the guy at the register!
(Which is another story in itself! Somehow, by focusing so much on signing, I seemed to have lost all my Spanish vocabulary! I could barely remember anything! Agh! So frustrating! If I go back sometime soon I definitely need to brush up on my Spanish! Or at least speak with my Spanish speaking friends.)
Okay, okay. Before I make a long story much, much longer, I'm going to head out and save my RSM trip for another post.

Wilhelm.....out.

All the time....

It's all about priorities isn't it?

Lately I have been.....

reading, studying, and thinking a ton,
watching way too many shows online (cutting back on that),
checking FB waay too addictively (on a FB fast right now),
enjoying precious chunks of time with friends I don't get to see often,
needing tons of sleep,
working, studying, and doing lots,
not checking the blogs I like quite as tenaciously,
not shopping nearly as much,
not stalking/creeping on people as much (via blogs & FB)<
reading my Bible much, MUCH more!
.....learning about life, people, myself, and God.

And you know what?
When it comes down to that last line, I'm pretty sure some of my proactive steps at prioritizing my life has been much more healthy lately. Good, right?!

Living, loving, and learning.
Yep, I think I'm on a good track to spiritual healthiness.

God is good, all the time.
All the time, God is good.

My Future

Having the ability to know tentatively what will happen in my future has been somewhat lacking in my life for the last year. So when I was able to register for classes on Wednesday, I was praising God for allowing me this treat of knowing what I am doing in my life much sooner than I have been able to know recently- in at least one important area- school!

Thank you God that I was able to add the classes I needed! After a few minor setbacks and dashed hopes, God answered my feeble prayers to place me in the right classes for my next semester at State and to pretty please, especially allow me the schedule I had planned:)

God does answer prayers, no matter how insignificant they seem! I was able to do something- with His help and that of a good new friend (Heidi), to plan a little bit more of my life. Doing such planning is always a stressful and hopeful thing for me. Now I need to focus more prayer on bigger things: finding/getting a summer job and finding out where and with whom I am going to live next semester! I would really like that one answered for me, and prefer it to be answered sooner, rather than later!!

Thanks again God for providing for me, reminding me of your amazing Sovereignty, giving me surprises, and for replacing my dour spirit with one of JOY!

{The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.}

-Amazing song, amazing truth, amazing verse: Psalm 145:8

Reflections

I have this written on my hand right now....

Captivating you are,
Calling to my heart you are,
Calling me to be yours,
To be yours.


And another...


Your name is holy, your name is wonderful
Your name is father, your name is wonderful.

Your name is redeemer, Your name is wonderful
Your name is forgiveness, Your name is wonderful

I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee
I exalt Thee, O Lord
I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee
I exalt Thee, O Lord

Your name is savior, Your name is wonderful
Your name is Jesus, Your name is wonderful
Your name is mercy, Your name is wonderful
Your name is healing, Your name is wonderful

I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee
I exalt Thee, O Lord
I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee
I exalt Thee, O Lord

I love going to The Well. Not because it is a cool place to go or the thing to do on Sunday night, but because I finally feel at home there.
I love the teaching staff, the music ministers to me at the times when I need it most, and I love the people!
At the beginning of the school year my sister and I decided to make the commitment and help with Kids Connection. Trading off with some friends from Pacific, we help with Sunday school every other weekend. I have learned so much helping with my five's and Kindergartners and I think Rach can say the same about her 1st -3rd graders.
Some kids touch my heart with their sincerity, wackiness, and interesting behavior. For instance, while explaining the story about Jesus walking on water, the question was asked, "Do you think he could walk on the water? " To which one little girl with flaming-red hair replied, "No silly, it was Jesus!" That puts things into perspective! (As does playing with your dress and lifting up the skirt around your arms so that your lower-half shows to all who care to look. Or coming out of the bathroom before butting or zipping up your pants -luckily only a couple girls were there that night.) Ah, the life of kids. I think the thing that amazes me the most is when a little girl or boy will say something like the little girl above did. The faith, innocence, and sincerity found in their remarks, thoughts, and faces is just mind-blowing to me.

Remembering these thoughtful moments, I ask myself: Why have I lost that mentality?
Well for one thing, I have lived longer than these children. But I think the main reason is that I have lost the mentality of service and and centralized heart. Tonight's message by Brad Bell is just what I needed. Go to iTunes to hear the message from the Well Community Church.

Playing guitar usually puts me in a pensive mood and I think it helped me focus better at church tonight. I love the ability to make music, combining words with notes, and praise the Lord. Not that I am good at all, but I feel that God has given me the blessed ability to learn songs and praise him in a somewhat reverent and unique way. I like that God gives us abilities to glorify, lift up, and adore Him. Or as Ben Wrightman says in Fever Pitch, "I like being part of something that's bigger than me-than I."

Continuing, Ben says another interesting line, "It's good for your soul to invest in something that you can't control."

Now isn't that interesting for being a somewhat-questionable-at-times PG-13 rated movie?

I thought so. Maybe there is a little theology inside of every wonderful and corrupt thing in life. Maybe my window is becoming bigger.
Or maybe I just know what to look for now.