Numero Ochenta

Wow- this number definitely came quickly after my fiftieth!
Woop! Go me!

Okay, enough about me.
(Well not really :)

The reason I haven't really been posting lately (well for quite awhile now. almost TWO weeks- geez it's been awhile!) is because, simply put, my life has become A LOT busier than when I was posting like crazy in January and in the wee small hours of February. (Name that song anyone?) After the semester started, I became really busy with school and everything it entails (work! finally! I was so bored without it!, homework, reading, going to class, etc.).

Needless to say, I have been busy with other stuff too and now I just don't have as much time to procrastinate for hours on end on the internet. Which sadly includes blogging. But I must point out, my time blogging is really only limited to this particular blog. Which is frustratingly so.
This semester, I have to blog or keep up with blogs of my classmates each week. Which has taken its toll on my excitement to blog on here as well.

I am still working through some things with God (isn't everyone- all the time? :), thinking about, praying about, and dealing with some things with Him. They are mostly all good, or rather, positive things, but I am working through them nonetheless. And one of them is my winter blues (which usually come in January and February). And another is the realization of the way I have been spending my time lately. I would argue that the time I spend blogging here is usually productive and positive for me (because I usually turn towards positive reflection & such things), but
I have realized lately how much time I use my computer and more specifically the internet to procrastinate and waste my time with. I realize this and I'm working on it, but that is just another reason I haven't been writing.

I guess another big reason is that I simply haven't felt like it. I have never been a person to do something every day and commit to spending the same amount of time doing said thing every. single. day. (in a row) So I am okay with this. However, I have missed writing. I feel that God has truly blessed me with this area and time as a niche for reflection and jotting down random blurbs of feeling, emotion, and for writing about the things that excite/depress/anger/thrill/and intrigue me.

Along with using my computer and the internet to waste my time, I have become increasingly aware of how much time my sister and I devote to staring at our computer screens. At times, we are even sitting next to each other! I know that this time of using the internet is not always wasteful, but I have noticed lately how badly I just want to close my computer and talk. Most of the blogs I gravitate towards include stories. I want to read about a person's life. Learn. And know them. And most of the time, it is fun to do that with strangers, or with people I am barely connected to. To learn about the unknown, hear someone's trials, rejoice with their delights, and learn from their mistakes. This is why I treasure these types of blogs. In a way, I started out this blog to do just that. To write my own thoughts, feelings, experiences and stories down. To share my history with other people, to hold myself accountable, and to share what God is doing in my life. However, although He has done interesting things through this blog, I have definitely been noticing lately how poorly I have been managing my time lately. And a lot of that is a result of the things I have already mentioned.

So if you're reading this (and I'm really only talking to Rach bc I'm pretty -100%- sure that you're the only person who reads this), please know that I am doing what I intended. I have been writing about things in my life, holding myself accountable on some important things, and sharing what God has been doing in my life. However, when I realized how often I was seeking a story on someone's blog, and that slowly started to include my sister, I realize my mistake and what I need to work on. I mean, come on! Last year I liked to read her sporadic posts because I didn't usually hear about what she posted. But now I live with her! I can get info from her and her a story from her life any time I want to!

All this is to say, I'm sorry. and thank you. (What movie/tv show is that from? Seriously- it's bugging me!)
No really, I guess I'm sorry I haven't been blogging in a way, but thank you blog for helping me learn about myself and ways in which I need to change.
The end.