thoughts of transitioning

Thainking about changing the name to this here blog.

Really, it's just a place for me to share
random thoughts,
links,
pictures,
things I love,
new discoveries,
challenges,
ideas,
& thoughts about & conversations with God.


The original intent was to share my view from my window (of the world & literally from where I lived at the present time). Over the past four years, I have lived in four very different places (not including my room at the parent's house with the window out to the enclosed patio/storage room- bor-ing).

Year 1: East Hall 3. Loved college. Loved freedom. Loved FPU. Thought I was going to graduate in 3 more years at FPU. Picked up my guitar for reals & dove in to self-teaching myself. Worked in grad/d.c. office. Learned a lot. Worked my butt off (24 hour work weeks? I miss you! Well, just the paycheck, really :) Totally clicked with one roommate - not as much with the other. Ended up not having a shoe-in of a roommate. (home for summer: visited sister at Hume every other week- terrible withdrawals)

Year 2: Stras 2. After not even really knowing my roommate at all (2nd year in a row), it worked out well. Had some strange things in common. Really started to love her. Worked as writing tutor at the CWL (Center for Writing & Learning). Could hear guys singing in the shower in the bathroom caddy-corner to my window. haha-awkward, yet, funny times. Truly started rocking out & pushing myself on guitar. Learned a lot from roommate & sharing a bathroom with 6 people. Realized I knew all along that I wasn't supposed to graduate from FPU. Felt the nudge towards nursing. Working my butt off in science classes that simply were not me. Still interested in nursing but decided to take a break from ridiculously hard (at least for me) pre-req's & went towards psychology. Specifically, child development. Discovered child development major at Fresno State. Discovered amazing classes meant just for me. Rocked my world. World rocked, but saw long road ahead to admission into Fresno State. Meanwhile, joined my first Lifegroup, or Bible study, through my church, the Well. Bloomed and grew. (haha nod to Eidelweiss :) Soaked up fellowship with very similar & very different girls from group. Went home for the summer knowing I wasn't ever returning to FPU as a full-time undergrad student. Sad, yet excited for future. Left without housing option/plan/possible roommate for next year. (See a pattern anyone? Third year in a row without a roommate OR a job lined up.)
Home for summer: crazy busy summer with weekly babysitting, Thursday Girls Bible study, visiting sister at Hume, & summer school at BC- Logic: awesome English: not awesome until I worked on my attitude. Helped older sis to organize, ready, & paper the walls of her 4th grade classroom she taught -until she was pink slipped with 20,000 other teachers in CA)

Year 3: realized I needed 2 more lower division classes to go to State. Crazy planning & many calls to a super helpful advisor at State. Decided to go to City for a semester. (2nd Fresno college). First venture into public school. ever. God worked out an amazing (for awhile) job as a nanny through lifegroup leader. Learned a lot from that. Finally lined up roommate/housing situation: girl from Lifegroup, close to State for.....next semester! Craziness of parking at apt complex during game days. Slowly getting to know other 2 roommates. Mentored, loved on, and got to know amazing module girls from East Hall 2 (Audrey as first time RA- lots of encouragement for her!). Finished 2 classes needed for admission. Along with......surprise! surprise! ASL 1! Loved American Sign Language, encouraged friends to take it, renewed interest in languages (esp. ASL), Aaaannd realized State had Communicative Disorders minor with a focus on Deaf Studies. Thank you God! This is meant for me! Met new people, made friends with tons of people in ASL (most I never thought I ever could be friends with), witnessed to a few, decided to take ASL 2 ASAP! Sad to leave behind easiest semester I would ever have (homework-wise) in college, but excited for big, new, and exciting Fresno State! Christmas in La Verne (cousins, the Grove) & Temple City. Volunteered at old Neighborhood Thrift. loved it. -Should have gone even more with my outrageous amounts of free time.- Found my love for the gym at my apt. twas uh-mazing! Liked working out, making playlists, becoming toned (last time was senior year of highschool when I worked my butt off pushing & hauling carts at Vons), the freedom of having it right there, and liked going late at night. Loved it!!!
Made it to State, loved it, riding my bike to classes, & getting to know people. Somewhat daunting at first, but easy because of amount of major classes I took (tons of same people in each class). Totally and completely wiped out on my bike, in front of my teacher, on a rainy day. Ugh. Sooo embarrassing, and cold, and wet. Ugh. thought chain was broken. Walked bike home. Got hit on. Rejected offer for lunch (um, I'm wet, cold, embarrassed- especially after asking for help from this guy with bike chain & it WASN'T EVEN BROKEN). Went on first real date. Realized quickly how shallow and quick to judge I was. Learned a lot about my expectations from that. Saw a great movie though :) Felt compelled to see Slumdog Millionaire. Ended that horribly. Ended nanny job equally horribly. Both situations partly my fault, partly not. Still working those out with God. Started babysitting a new family. (sometimes got paid bank- always gifts from God right when I was freaking out about money). Definitely learned a lot from & through all 3 roommates.
To sum up: City, nanny, Bex & Kelly's birthday's in Fresno, addicted to cable, same Lifegroup some different girls (great friendships & connections), State, date, learned a ton at school, loved freshmen girls of EAH2. Realized I wanted to move again. I was cool with my roommates, but felt okay to move on. Roommate got married (the one I was relationally closest to) in June! Old friend married in July! weird to be at this marriage & engagement stage of life

Worked at getting a summer job- no-go. Decided to stay for the summer in Fresno & take ASL 2!!! LOVED it! Made more awesome friends there. Super quick class with only 4 weeks in July (forget a lot of it now). 3rd birthday at Hume. Needed to figure out a roommate/housing situation yet again. (3rd year now.)
Disconnected from church. Boring. Not much friend interaction until late July. Visited sis at Hume a few times. Roadtripped to visit Audrey in San Jose. Random group of friends- twas amazingly fun though. Serve Day (in May actually) with Lifegroup friends. Sunburned, sweaty, and dirty- but oh, so fun! Fired up to live with sister in an apt. Tried to get other girls to commit to a lease. Another big no-go. Realized, God wanted just me & the sis together at last. Together forever (nod to Annie- sorry I just watched it). Signed a lease (a family affair. trust me. it was.) Moved during finals week of summer school. Craziness, pure craziness.

Year 4: School started. sadly not going to graduate with my (original) class this year. Roommate found. Lease signed. No job though. Wanted an on-campus job at my 3rd Fresno college. Realized I should be a writing tutor again. Worked on it. Got it. Ten bucks an hour thank you very much. Thanks God! (and thanks for having a federal grant- & not a spot in the federal gov't paying us!) So cool. In my niche again. Also, started practicum working with toddlers. Cutie-pa-tooties I tell you. Gorgeous, cute, delicious, & mischievous little humans in progress. Amazing, hard, & fun classes, learning, friendships solidified, working my butt off again for a class, & totally loving it all! New Lifegroup (old leader had a super cute baby boy Sept. 11th), made even more amazing new friendships, graduation partay for sis, trip to Fresno for fun with sisters, fro-yo first night in Bako with old friend (crazy stir craziness after barely being home for 1 hour -missed my apt, my rules, my late night fun with friends!), reunion of highschool friends at BJ's & then late night games & talking at Sara's house (whew! 2 o'clock!), Christmas in Bako & Temple City. Disneyland trip with sisters. Cleaned room at home like cuh-razy! Trip to visit sis in Fresno. so fun. Blogging a ton. Helped out older sis at long-term sub (for family friend)- loved those kids. So many stories :) Back to Fresno (didn't want to leave cozy & cleaned out room at home), back to school - mixed emotions: happy, excited, hesitant, not looking forward to homework & deadlines -almost done though- only one more semester! (well, after this one). Loving being with sis again. Internship this semester! -Yay & ugh all in the same sentence.- new classes (Deaf Culture! Advanced Ch Dev., Internship, online not needed class?), Tutoring again, Saturday Sports & Neighborhood Thrift again, possibly subbing at practicum toddler site (hopefully, God! Please make it work if you want it to!), possibly new (or old) Lifegroup, possibly WSM- high schoolers! Lots of possibilities :)
Aaaannnd.....the rest is to be continued.....
Basically, because I'm living it!

Needless to say, I have definitely lived in 4 very different places with 4 very different views from the window by my desk in the different locations. But you know what? This last one is the best, because I'm with my sis. AND I'm living it right now :)

My Weekend

Friday:
sleep in. Check e-mail & such. Get ready & lunch with the best girls ever: Wilma, Ruby, Betty, & Ethel! Sunnyside Deli: first time but a good time: full turkey sandwich- hold the onions, garden herb pita chips, & water.
Internship class for 50 min. Chatted with the coolest girl, Noelle, about our doubts & fears for our sites. Learned about her site: Christian adoption agency- way cool!
Library: 10th Ave. North cd- good!
Home.
Went to Audrey's (Wilma's) house: What Not To Wear, volleyball + peppering = sore forearms. Cool & squishy grass, nice, warm, spring weather sunset, dark sky, brilliant & ginormous moon. Guitar on a table. Fun! Yuck- tune guitar! Played a song but could not remember the words. For like 20 minutes. Friend transposed chords (thanks Luffy!). Fingers numb. Learned new songs. Inspired- yet freakishly cold & couldn't read chords on the paper in the dark.
Audrey's house. Could read the chords with light. Getting frustrated yet more familiar with new chords. Not allowed to help with dinner. Twas amazing food. What Not to Wear again.
Home. Friends. bed. saturday sports tomorrow? hmm......


Saturday:
Saturday Sports- amazing, fun, exciting, encouraging, like-I'd-never-been-gone. Saw some of the kids at my apt. complex later. Note to self: try to meet them next week. Jump rope, stamps, ink all over hands. Awesome.
Home. brunch. Nap. Friends. Awesome dinner: salad with romaine, orange bell pepper, cucumber, craisins, dried apricots, apples, & ranch. Pasta: saucy parmesan with grape tomatoes. Grocery shopping. Best dessert: vanilla ice cream, graham crackers, chocolate shavings, caramel & hot fudge sauce. Scrumdealyumptuous. Blog stalking. Late night talk with the sister.


Sunday:
slept in. Lovely, warm, & long shower (yay- it's fixed! No more leaking tub!).
Cheerios. Dick Van Dyke show.
Andy Griffith Show (lots of whistling.) (and making fun of sister's inability to whistle).
Check e-mail. Read one from teacher of online class.
Started freaking out about online class.
Lunch: leftover teriyaki chicken ala TJ's: so-so, not amazing, not horrible.
Started hyperventilating about online class.
(Spilled food on ground.) Vacuum. (Needed to do it anyway.)
Checked to see what other class would substitute for anxiety inducing online class. Found many. networked (fb) to find an easy one.
Started wondering if said class could still be dropped. (when is "serious & compelling" deadline?) (and what does that even refer to? "Well, uh, I died so I need to drop my classes." That serious enough?! ridikilous.)
Friends came to the rescue with options.



But finally


finally.

One friend suggested CDDS 139.
A class I am already taking. AH!!!!!!! And it double counts for my minor AND an upper ge requirement!!

Thank you Lord! and Why In The World Am I Taking Two Classes to Meet the Requirement For One Section?!!!!!! Like seriously?!

Okay, dropping said class like it's hot. Thanks friend for reminding me of my weird mistake. Checked out schedule. Yes, I can drop it!! Gotta talk to mom. Sorry about the whole mess with getting a book I don't need AT ALL now :(

Meanwhile....sister's good friend & former roommate from Hume stopped by. Fun conversation. Sister & friend talked about everything. like everything. Twas fun. Suggested she stay for dinner. She stayed.
Whipped up some taco salad with ground turkey instead of hamb. meat (tres good!) & some blueberry-peach cobbler for dessert. Yum! Add more sugar to batter next time though.
Time to leave for church! Ah! Scrambled to clean up dinner, get ready, & skeedaddle. Left earlier than last week but still a little late. Oh, good, friends saved seats. Saw totally super cool old friend: Still want to help out with WSM? We need you!" Me: 'Uh, oh, umm. I sort of forgot about that conversation with you.' "That's cool. But you should still come! On Tuesdays, with h.s., lead lifegroup & youth group." "Me, hmmm. Gotta think and pray." Excited yet, hesitating. 'Should I God?' Sounds like a quiet, 'YES!' Saw even more totally super cool old friends. Kara: come to the Well! Sit with us! We love you! Let's watch crappy tv & bash on it again this semester! Oh wait, no tv at our place.
Awesome message from Brad via video. Great challenges, knowledge, info, Word of God, truth, and encouragement given. Go God! Go lifegroups! Go spiritual growth! Go Biblically measured! (that's my target area to work on) Go tons more Wellian vocab: the core, the seven. er. um. I'm working on my uneasiness with this growing list of vocab. we have at the Well. Good church, great teaching, good people, tons of specific jargon & Well-specific words used. Although, sad bc I'm almost done with my first ever somewhat sporadically contributed to journal for church notes & God (thoughts, prayers, cries, & questions).
Awesome singing & time of worship. Reign In Us. Before the Throne. Revelation Song. Marvelous Light with different rhythm & tune: sounds cool! Glory to God........something happened with a girl needing medical attention suddenly. Get water! Get an emt! God, please be with her, help her not to be embarrassed, and keep her safe- with whatever happened!
Singing stopped abruptly. But we still learned, loved, & worshiped God despite the strange ending. Mind spinning with possibilities of ways to serve at church! WSM? Old Lifegroup? Add new class? Hmmm....
TJ's (no time for Target- ah!! Tomorrow :)
AAaaaand, home.
Dishes, cobbler, fb, e-mail, more class searching, praying, & exciting about maybe WSM? Yes! I think it's a yes about the timing, the need, and the lives needing to be loved on. You know what God? I love you!





Funny anecdote:
Rach just told me that I'm "so good at typing with one hand that I should be a person with only one hand so that I can use my talent or gift or something."

She is strange.

And weird.

And apparently looks younger than me? (by a weird dude at TJ's) First time in my life this has happened people!!

Today

I had so much fun today!
(And after a rather sleepless night filled with early morning wake-up calls to pain, I needed it.)

Woke up, got ready, went to lunch with some of my best friends that I hadn't seen in a loong time (yummy food),
went to class (talked to a really nice girl, Noelle- fun spelling!),
went to the library (good cd),
went to a friends' house (watched What Not To Wear),
went outside to enjoy the gorgeous weather,
played some volleyball,
played guitar until my fingers were numb as the sun set,
said friend cooked an amazing yet delish dinner, watched more WNTW
had the best sugar cookies (I should have grabbed some more before I left!),
came home,
read my friends' blog about her new little boy- man isn't he the cutest little chubby thing?!

and now I'm going to watch an episode of Friends before calling it a night around eleven!



God is good.
Thank you for blessing me with great friends,
money to buy good food to eat with great friends,
and a car to get to school and then over to my friends' house!

Oh and thanks to the sis who let me have the parking spot. (For future reference: leaving me the spot is always an instant bright spot in my day. Seems simple, but it's definitely a blessing -even if our neighbor parks way too close to our spot :)

Last night

After driving around for a bit, trying to decide where to go,
I went to IHOP with the sister.
We ordered the same thing (no surprise there).
The classic: eggs, hashbrowns, and All You Can Eat pancakes.

And let me tell you,

that food was good!

Also, I should add that we went at 8 o'clock at night
so everything was definitely fresh and made right after we ordered.
No heat-lamp food for us!

Anyways, we sat in a corner booth all to ourselves.
And because it was so cold where we sat, I ordered some hot water.
(Yes, I know it's weird to just get hot water, but it's cheap and warm.
The perfect combo for any well-trained Wilhelm,
or at least for those trained by my mom- so basically my sisters and I :)

At one point when I was drinking my lovely hot water, Rach said that we were like a bunch of old ladies with us both ordering the cheapest thing on the menu, sitting by ourselves in a corner booth, and me drinking out of a cute-yet tiny diner mug that reminded her of the ones our grandparents have.

In the end, we had a lovely time catching up on the week,
talking about new people we were getting to know in our classes,
and eating the freshest and well-cooked food I have ever had at an IHOP.
(Which is actually saying a lot because we used to go to IHOP all the time in highschool.)

Oh, and then we had to find an ATM.
But we didn't get there before Rachel went into a Chinese restaurant
and completely made a fool of herself trying to ask the owner
(who she now knows obviously didn't know any English) where a nearby ATM was.

Rachel: Do you know where the closest ATM is?
Chinese man: ATM?

Rachel: ATM??
Chinese man: ATM?

Rachel: .....ATM?
Chinese man: ATM?


Yep, they could have gone all night!


The guy who eventually helped her was an awesome guy.
But I couldn't help but tell her that he totally laughed as she was leaving :)

Hahahaha. Ask her about that one some time.


What I Wore Today pictures to be posted soon.

eventually

I want to write a song about this someday.....


Luke 1:78-79
"because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace."


and this....

Matthew 3:8
"Produce fruit in keeping with repentance."


and this....

Psalm 103:10
"...he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities."

Amen! Thank you God for that last one!

Luke 1:74-75

God please help me to serve you today

without fear,
in holiness
&
righteousness.

God thank you for sending Jesus
"to rescue us from the hand of our enemies,
and to enable us to serve him without fear
in holiness and righteousness before him all our days."
-Luke 1:74-75

Thursday 1/28

Finally Starting This: What I Wore Today